A blog to remember Gilles Laurent, who died in Brussels Attack in the middle of making his film about Fukushima / this blog is organized by his wife Reiko Udo

ジルが教えてくれたこと。〜命日に寄せて〜 What Gilles taught me ~on his death anniversary~


私が最後にジルを写真に収めていたのがこれ。2015年夏、日仏学院でのお祭りでした。当時5歳の長女、3歳の次女とともに。The last photo of Gilles I took was this one. In summer of 2015, at French Institute in Kagurazaka, with our two daughters.



Since I lost my husband suddenly in such a terrible way, lots of people confessed to me about death of their close people. Fathers and mothers. Husbands and wives. Brothers and sisters. Not only due to sickness and accidents ,but also to suicides. Babies in progress. Precious friends.



Eacth time I kept thinking about the meaning of life which forces you to continue to see the death of your beloved ones. And I kept thinking about the true happiness. Then I found my own answer recently. Actually Gilles taught me what it is.



It is to be able to feel sad and cry over someone you loved. It is to be able to have such emotions. Very human feelings. No matter how short they lived or how they died. The fact that there was somebody who gave you happiness, and the fact that you had human feellings to feel and receive it. Those are the true happiness.



On the other hand, the unhappiest thing in this world is not to be able to have such a feeling. It is erased and they commit the worst crime such as indiscriminate terrorism. They were born as human beings but they did not become human. Is there any unhappier thing in this world ? They are the ones who were the most unfortunate and had the worst lives



So I am determined never to curse them ever as I did not before. I am determined with Gilles again here.



 It is exactly one year since Gilles died. I decided also to start praying for them with mercy.



I will cry every year on this day, 22nd of March. But at the same time my tears show the amount of happiness that I have. I declare to keep being the happiest person with full emotion and full happiness.




Gilles, you were often sensitive and meticulous. So my rough behaviour often irritated you, sorry. But sometimes you told me that my such slow attitude was helping you at the same time.

When there were problems, you often told me with a smile on your face, "We will find a solution". I will never forget that voice.



You will be my hero forever.



Thank you for appearing in and changing my life wonderfully.