読者です 読者をやめる 読者になる 読者になる


A blog to remember Gilles Laurent, who died in Brussels Attack in the middle of making his film about Fukushima / this blog is organized by his wife Reiko Udo

不思議な7年間。Seven years after



Today is the wedding anniversary of Gilles and me.


I realise that the date is exactly beween 3.11 and 3.22. I wonder if there is any fate or charma expressed about these dates.



We went to the city hall together seven years ago, by a small train called Setagaya-line. The preparation of documents was quite complicated as it was an international marriage. So after some visits, the final registration was made on this day. I remember the time when we left with smile on our faces.



Today in Europe people do not ‘marry’ so often. Instead, they resister themselves as partners (as they can have almost the same rights as marriage.) If you say you will get married with someone to your friends, I hear that they will be amazed saying, ‘Wow, how romantic you are’. I explained to Gilles that Japan is quite classical about marriage, and he understood and kindly followed the procedure.



Exactly seven years since that day… my life changed so dramatically.



Gilles’ family members and friends know him for years and years. On the other hand I just know him only for less than eight years, since we met each other less than one year before this marriage.



Appeared like a breeze, and disappeared like a breeze again…


本当に実在したのかな? と疑いたくなるほどだが、目の前にはお互いの顔によく似た子供たちが二人おり、映画も1本、残されている。しかもそのどれもが、「こちらを見て! こちらを見て!」と語りかけてくるものばかり。ジル本人だけが、ある日を境に居なくなってしまったことになる。

Did he really exist ? I even doubt, but there are two children with faces similar to us, and there is one film left in front of me. And they all shout to me, ‘Look at me ! Look at me!’ Only Gilles himself disappeared one day.



Joie, gratitude, WAという3つの言葉。


There are three words engraved inside our two marriage rings. Joy, gratitude, and harmony. We used both of our mother-tongue, and English which connected us.


ジルのプラチナの指輪には、joie, grati… と彫ってもらい、

私のシャンパンゴールドの指輪には、…tude, WA と彫ってもらった。


Three words are split between the second word, and if we combine two rings, three words are completed. It was a nice idea of romantic Gilles.



I confess that he returned his ring to me two or three times after we argued. (Then he wanted it back each time.) Maybe the message inside the ring must have been feeling useless by itself in those days. Sorry. After all, these rings are full of our memory .



The other day I just found a bracelet with a small bird from the same maker, and I decided to buy it as a new start for us.



I have a special emotion for birds.



Gilles used to love a flock of birds flying freely in the evening sky. There are still woods in Suginami, and you can sometimes catch the view of those flying birds. He was always gazing them, and he had named it as ‘Birds of a concert’. Yes it looks like an orchestra, conducted by an imaginary tact of a conductor called God ? Regardless of where it is… whenever he found it, he was full of joy and said ‘I really like this’.


それは保育園帰りの子供達にもしっかりと教えこまれていたようだ。今でも、パパと自転車で通ったその道に鳥の群舞を見つけると、子供達は「あ! こんさーとのとりだ!」と叫ぶ。

He had taught about this naming to the children. So whenever we pass by the place with a bike and find a flock of birds, our girls shout, ‘Ah ! Birds of an concert!’.



Is he flying with those birds in the sky now ? After losing the heavy body and becoming like air now ? I always remember of his special love to the nature whenever our children shout like this to the sky.